The History of Gaming
The history of video games is vast and bloody, ranging from Knack to the fantastic experience that is Tarzan for PS1. On this page, we lay it all out for you to read and analyze. Let's get to it.
Left: Shigeru Miyamoto, the creator of video games. Right: Satoru Iwata, the prince of video games.
So, everybody knows that the first video game is Mario Brothers. But did you know that Mario 2 wasn't even Mario? It was actually a japanese game called "Harry Potter and the Flying Wizard" (I know, what the heck?). The Marios went on to sell 3.6 billion copies, but Reggie was pissed, so he created the Sega Genesys.
Reggie, creator of the Sega Megadrivu
This era of video gaming is known to historians as "The Golden Age of Gaming". We saw such historic releases like Tarzan for PS1. That's it. Then, Knack came out!
Knack, the worst video game ever made
Sadly, Knack only sold 3 copies because it was the worst video game ever made. The creator of Knack, Blizzard Games, spiraled into insanity. Resentful of the human race he poured his hatred and his cruelty into a game called "Angry Bird". In this game you played as a souless serial murder trying to jump over the graphics from Mario Brothers. Then, in a geurilla marketing stunt, PewDiePie made a deal with Dreamboy (Blizzard Man) so that he could only make blogs about Crappy Bird.
PewDiePie playing Happy Birb
Now, all of the stupid children in the world bought Nappy Bird, and the maker of Tracking Bird got enough money to make Minecraft. So Blizzard releases Minecraft and sets up the same deal with PewDiePie. So now all the little children are playing Minecraft instead of Knack.
A popular item in Minecraft, the Toolbelt
And since Minecraft was such a big hit, Reggie get's the idea to make Minercaft 2. But not so fast Reggie, not so fast. You see, it turned out that Microsoft owned Minecraft the whole time!
"GO TO JAIL! UH, GOT TO JAIL!" - Bill Gate to Reggie
2006 and Beyond Time
The future holds many things, none of which are known to us. Except this! We have been told that scientists are currently working on a new game called "FPS". Here's a test image we managed to steal from their labs:
IT'S JUST KNACK! OOOOH, KNACK IS BACK BABY!